Popularity

Are things that are popular usually good or bad?

Is Change Good for the Soul?

Can people really change? This is a tough question. I think that there are plenty of people in relationships who don't see people: they see potential. To marry your high school sweat heart is to marry the person you hope they'll become. However, there comes a point where people are who they are. This, of course, begs the next question: is there an us? If we change, is there a part of us that never changes? If not, our old friends and lovers are really just the aliens who now occupy their bodies.

I have traveled across the planet. I've made hundreds of friends and lost almost as many. Love has come in and out of my life like the glimpses of mournful ghosts. I sometimes stare at myself in the mirror and look for the boy I knew. I'm not always sure I want to find him.

Pro Athletes

Since they are professionals, should pro athletes only look at money when choosing where to play? Some might argue that at their incomes, a few million dollars won't have an appreciable impact, so they should rather consider their fan base, hometowns, family, etc. What do you think?


I bring this up in light of Jeremy Lin's recent move to the Houston Rockets. Here's a guy that no team gave him a chance. Finally, the Knicks gave that to him and now he's leaving. Also, Lin has become a celebrity player with fans across the country. Knicks games air nationally while Rockets games get much less coverage, so he would be harder to follow. Do celebrities owe a debt to their fans?

Why Not Have Kids?

I remember my own childhood, not fondly, but I do remember. One phenomenon I recall distinctly was the question that children asked each other: do you have any brothers or sisters?

This was a great question. Kids who were only children were typically obnoxious. They didn't share. They were mean and rude. Kids from big families had lots of toys. Older siblings typically had cooler toys. A big brother could teach you a dirty word. An older sister might teach you how to talk to girls or what to wear. However, there were limits. If there were three children, it was great, maybe even four. Five kids, though, solicited comments like, "That's a big family."

Heck, families used to have minivans because they sat seven. In a big family, only one child would get to invite a friend on an outing.

I currently do not have any friends with more than two kids. When I meet someone who has three kids, I say, "Wow, big family." If they say four or more I ask them if they're Mormon. Did you and your wife have kids separately before you met each other?

If I meet these large families, I scan their little tow-topped faces, looking for the one who resembles the mailman.

And I'm not the only one. Everyone I know wants to ask, "Why?" when they meet someone with more than two kids. I can't answer for the puppymills, but I can explain the inquisitors. We understand that everyone makes a mistake: that's why you have kid. We even understand that you didn't want to talk to it, so you made it a little friend. However, you can't keep making the same mistake and expect us to be understanding. We have our limits.

To Brush or Not to Brush

Imagine that it's late at night. You've already slipped out of your normal clothes. You've been kissing your lover and drinking red wine. Then, you suddenly realize you don't have a toothbrush with you. All night long, you've been open mouth kissing this person. Would you then now, share a rinsed toothbrush with this person? Under what circumstances or conditions would you draw the line? Would you admit to it later (like in a blog comment)?

Imagine the most heart-wrenching relationship of your life. There were good times with the bad. Would you do it again if you had the choice (do not make the: it made me who I am argument; imagine that you would still be the same person)?


Think of the moment when you were almost drunk in love. Remember all the crazy things you did because you were so completely absorbed. Also, remember the long nights listening to Air Supply records and trying to make the perfect mixed tape that will win back this person's love.

Do you always want to know the truth, or are there times you would rather people lied or hid things from you? Is the truth always superior, will it always set you free, or are there times when it is better left unsaid?

This is like the moment in "A Few Good Men," When Tom Cruise asks for the truth, and Jack Nicholson responds, "You can't handle the truth." For example, would you want to know who of your friends your lover finds attractive? Were you happy when you found out there was no Santa Claus? On the other hand, how many of us have had a lover cheat on us or something similar, all the while, our friends knew or suspected but didn't want to be the shot messenger? 

I know when my ex-wife left me, she had already told the movers, signed an apartment lease, made tons of arrangements weeks before. We spent time together with her friend visiting during Spring Break, and I was there, clueless. Despite all the hard truths I've accepted and taken a long time to learn, I still know there are many things I still don't want to know.

Ok, new tradition: Song Sundays. Let the deconstruction begin! In the song "We Are Young," it goes: "My lover she is waiting for me just across the bar. My seat's been taken by some sunglasses asking about a scar. I know I gave it to you months ago. I know you're trying to forget. But between the drinks and subtle things, the holes in my apologies, I know you're trying to forget." What is the "it?" What is she trying to forget? I have two theories: 1) the little fellow got drunk or high and hit her. It's the obvious answer. Domestic violence is the mostly likely means of producing a visible scar. What do you tell a Backdoor Betty with two black eyes? 2) It's an abortion scar. Admittedly, she'd have to be pretty trashy to have a visible abortion scar at a bar, but what kind of girl dates a guy in a band anyway? I mean sure, there are guys with real jobs who don't make you pay for dinner, but he could be a rock star one day, and he'll take me with him. 

Liberty or Security?

Benjamin Franklin said that anyone who chose liberty over security deserved neither. However, in a world with ever growing dangers, foreign and domestic, we have developed technology and protocol which can observes us everywhere we go, listen to our conversations, and even digitally monitor our business transactions. In as little as thirty years, we have transitioned to a society where most of our day is recorded. We work in buildings with security cameras. We drive on roads with traffic cameras. We buy things with magnetic strips that record our time, place, and monetary accounts. Most of our lives are now recorded in a way that may have been considered invasive just a short time ago. We do this because there are foreign governments trying to gain leverage through military attacks; there are domestic and foreign terrorists hoping to disrupt our way of life. However, at what point does our abdication of our privacy and liberty outweigh the desire to live safely? When do we transition from reckless independence to coddled infantilization? This is one of the foundational and ubiquitous questions for the citizenry in a democracy and a question we are remiss to ask. I leave the debate to you. Also, what are the relevant issues related to this in our country today? For example, is mandatory health insurance a violation of our privacy? Are national data bases of medical data intrusive? Where do we draw the line?